Dating 101: What should you know about your partner- The vital questions

 

What should you know about your partner to have a real picture of what your relationship will be with them?

Ladies and Gentlemen, 

I continue my video series about dating in writing. We have discussed dressing, behaviors, and knowing the differences between guy and girls and their motivations. As I promised you here you will find the questions you need to ask on a date. 

If you have not seen the video series about „How to be build relationships” please find them on my youtube channel Zsuzsanna Fajcsak Drzsu

Let me share one video here:

What to wear to build relationships?

https://youtu.be/ObSfxpkkxuc

                                        Photo Unsplash.com Tibor Papai

Knowing the answers to these questions I am about to reveal can help you to determine the possible outcome of your dating. It will help you to close the dating with style and move on easier. If you, however, decide to proceed you will know should be aware of what may come. Heartbreak.

 

„Picking” each other out of the pool of a dating site highly likely is based on so-called „chemistry”. How cute, how feminine, how desirable how sexy how handsome, how masculine how strong is the look of the person on the profile picture. 

Then the getting to know par begins in a chat or email. We get to know the surface information: 

What is their favorite movie, music, book, food, restaurant, travel experience, and people they know? We get to know if the person is active, does any form of exercise, has a hobby, and what is their profession. We will get to know if they are in business or work at a job. And if they are happy or not about what they do. 

Then comes the question about life motivation and future plans. We will get to know where is the other person’s focus. How do they spend time, energy, and money? 

Highly likely these give a good understanding to proceed with a personal meeting. A personal meeting can give a much better picture of the person and their energy. 

Is the reality the same as the profile picture showed…

 

Where should you meet?

I always recommend that you meet in a public place and not at a cafe. Take a walk in a park if you can. Nature has a good calming effect on both of you. it is much better to talk while you are on the move. You are not stuck looking at the other person face to face for too long. 

 

The questions

Be easy and go with the flow. They may avoid certain areas of their lives, so don’t go there. They will either say it later on or they have so much fear that they never will talk about it. All these are signs for you.

 

Now: Pay attention to your questions. What does the person ask from you?

How polite and gentle is he or she asking.

 

See if they are shy or scared to ask. Notice that if they talk a lot because they are afraid to be quiet.

 

Listen to everything with acceptance and a smile. If you make any critical reaction, it will talk about you. If the person is sensitive to that they will get upset. If they are conscious you lose your chance for future dates. 

Keep your date-meeting on schedule. Set the timing in advance. 1-1,5 hours is enough to get to know enough that you can digest at once. It is not advised to drag the date on. Get your information and move on with your day.

it is also not advised to go head-on into the date and lose yourself in the process. You may end up doing things that you will resent later. Jumping in bed right away will set the wrong tone for later. It is also creating the foundation for expectation and all sorts of behavioral addictions.

If you still chose to go down that path, I am not here to say anything. You may find the right one that way. However, it is highly like that you won't. People living by true ethical values and those who want long-lasting harmonious relations will wait their time out before getting physical.

 

You must keep your identity and show your values while spending time together. If you skip this part you will have a hard time later trying to correct it. It is also possible that the relationship breaks becasue the other person is not willing to respect what is important to you. So you must show what is important for you now in real-life situations right at the beginning.

 

So many of us have fallen into the mistake to be too easy and allowing the other person to do stuff, so they will like us better. Thinking that once they accepted us we can just change and expect our strict values to be fulfilled, is a little foolish. This will create big conflicts and cause a breakup.

 

As you are moving with dating, here comes the real stuff. Making the acquaintance on a deeper level. This is the time to know the other person’s dating past. Former marriage or marriages.

Listen carefully to how they talk about their former partner. You will see what is expected to happen in your relationship once you get close. Once the initial „Love” intoxication is over all hidden stuff will come to the surface.

If they blame and are dissatisfied with their partner for the break-up and they talk about them disrespectfully, it is a sign. This is a sign that there is a lack of acceptance, manifesting in a lot of dissatisfaction, dislikes, hatred, anger, and resentment. When these present in the person, you will find the lack of responsibility as well. All of these are rooted in deep-seated fears. If you experience this, ask about their relationship with their parents and children - if they have. This will prove how conditioned their mind is. If they have not done anything to clean and heal their minds, you should know that these negative and destructive behaviors will awaken when you are in their lives.

 

Remember one thing: it is not you, it is them. If there was another person there, their unhealed emotional wounds have been coming out also.

 

If they talk about their former partner and relationship with respect and gratitude, it is also a sign. They should be able to say what they are grateful for and what they learned even if things didn’t last. However, don’t be so certain, until you experienced their gratitude.

 

Ask about their relationship with their parents. A man’s relationship with his mom and a woman’s relationship with his dad will determine their relationship with you. Even if they didn’t have a loving they may have been healed as an adult. That's a very good sign.

The most important is your experience in the first few months. Everyone is very careful not to show off their “teeth” in the beginning. However, wait and see how they manage or react in minor annoying circumstances, e.g when you’re late or when a planned thing didn’t happen. You’ll see the truth.

 They say: a man who came from far away can say what he wants. However, once your intuition is sharpened, you will feel the truth right from the start. Always rely on your gut feeling or your intuition.

Don't over-write what you feel with your mind. Don’t justify with the superficial ‘good’ things that are shouting from deep down as a warning signal. be careful because your mind can trick you too. 

If you experience any kind of little distortion in their interpretation of past events—get your radar up. You will feel that there is another fear there, which does not allow them to say the full truth.

 

Do you know now why you need to meditate? And not just any kind of meditation, but with breathing observation and objective observation?

 

So you sharpen your radars and make the sound of your intuition higher. So you reassure yourself about your intuition. So you will take it seriously that it is very real that you have felt. Also, you will not be blinded by the glamor and deceptive sweet words.

 

If you haven’t practiced this meditation with me yet, let me know and I will send the link.

 

Do you see how important it is to put yourself together first before entering to the dating field?

 

So you will be able to attract your soul mate. A person with whom you can truly live a lovingly harmonious relationship for a lifetime.

 

If you are not willing to do the cleaning in your head, your painful emotions will attract a painful partner. A partner you will be playing your emotional wounds and you will be doomed to further suffering.

 

Don't be frustrated if you realized so many things about yourself here. I was at this point too. I spent many years suffering because I didn’t do what I had to do to clean my pains out. After all, when I did miracles started to happen. I am not so special that this can only happen to me, it can happen to you as well.

 

Remember:

You are never too old to clean your mind and heal yourself deep down.
 

As long as you breathe, you have a chance to change.

 

Lots of love,

Dr. Zsu - who can take you through the most feared cleaning of your mind and lead you to create miracles in your life

drzsu@drzsu.com